Come, luxuriate with us in the presence of the BMW 8-Series: all twelve cylinders and six speeds and four "" wheels and two rickety CAN bus-wired ECUs and not a single B-pillar in sight. It is a wedge-shaped intercontinental missile, the ultimate pavement-crushing grand tourer. It once cost BMW a billion dollars to develop. It is everything we dreamed a car could be in the heyday boom years of the Nineties: sleek, fast, powerful, devillishly complicated, exclusive. Can you feel the Exclusive? Exclusive Coupe!
The synth-backed shredding that is currently seeping into your veins comes courtesy of , a guitarist and musician who provided a fittingly retro soundtrack to the arcade game Drift Stage—a game seemingly ripped from the psyches of every millennial-aged car nerd who’s ever dreamed of four-wheel-sliding across a neon-pink Miami night in a Lotus Esprit. Myrone’s channel is full of gauzy found-footage music videos of , , and ; incidentally, and appropriately, Exclusive Coupe is the second track on .
Nostalgia, across all forms of culture, . The past is a foreign country, its duty-free shops rife for plundering. By visiting the past, toward a simpler time, every generation finds its own youth: when nothing but optimism and aesthetic defined their waking moments. Filmmakers of the Eighties had the Fifties to draw on, and perhaps ironically, the young tastemakers now look back to their domain (and the DeLoreans, and the car phones, and the ) to be rejeuvenated. The anticipation of the 1990s-themed car show , the all-too-brief mind-meld of , Stranger Things Season 2, and the rosy comfort of —and now, a fast-paced arcade game that makes Pole Position look like Gran Turismo, all fueled by pounding synth.
Go ahead. Feel the exclusivity. Lap it up from behind those pop-up headlights. Revel in everything that Clinton-era money could get you: money, success, optimism, continent-crushing power, and pounding synth music. Graphs. Power outputs. Slow-motion suspension testing. Multiplex Technology. Interior Styling. Crosswind Behaviour [sic]. A 0.29 coefficient of drag, one of the lowest of any production car. Dr. Rudolph Büchelhofer, “Member of the Board of BMW AG.”
Oh, and there’s also the matter of a Rolliflex-wielding Italian, a juggler, a band of hat-wearing priests, and a bizarre storyline involving a cardinal and Germany’s Pauly Shore who gets the keys to said 8-Series, which is the best thing to happen from meeting a stranger in the Alps.
And for cross-referencing purposes, here’s , from which this footage was cribbed. ("Comical & Informative!" suggests the anonymous YouTuber.) You’ll either go forth and buy an Exclusive Coupe of your own, or join the clergy.