Three Stories From a Silly Week in Motorsports

If racing keeps going like this, The Onion may have to start covering motorsports.

Getty/ John Springer Collection

This week, we're bringing you three silly stories from the world of motorsports. Who knew that racing, like our office, is actually full of goofballs?

TURNS OUT THEY DO DECLINE THAT…

YouTubeHoney G
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Wealthy drivers and racing teams that field their cars part ways on a regular basis. The reasons behind those splits are fairly routine: Better teams could have openings to offer, the costs could grow to an uncomfortable level, and sometimes the expensive adventure loses some of its allure.

Earlier this week, we had an awesome new entry to the annals of team and driver separations: A rap video.

England’s Tockwith Motorsports, , lost the Hanson family’s patronage after its Audi R8 LMS GT3 was used without their permission in a video made by rapper Honey G.

“Due to a non-motorsport related issue in which TMS allowed a music video to be filmed at Tockwith, and included coverage of one of the cars owned by the Hanson family without their permission, driver Phil Hanson has decided to step away from the team that he has co-driven alongside Nigel Moore for the past two years.

“It has been a difficult decision, but something we felt necessary under the circumstances and I will now have the opportunity to move in a new direction with regards to my motorsport career,” said Dick Hanson. “I would like to thank the team for all their hard work and everything we have achieved together.”

The justification behind the Hanson’s decision, provided you can get through the full three minutes and 28 seconds, is rather obvious

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NOW TRY HEELING AND TOEING

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Adult film actor “Mick Blue” has stated his desire to become a Verizon IndyCar Series driver by 2020.

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The star of thousands of XXX titles, including Breast In Class 2: Counterfeit Racks, Double D-Tension, andInternal Combustion 13, the Austrian performer has been spending his weekends racing Spec Miatas and participating in open-wheel driving schools.

“Since I was like a little boy, I was always interested in motorsports,” he said in a homemade sponsorship pitch video. “In September of 2016, I turned 40 years young, and I said to myself, ‘you know what? I want to fulfill my childhood dream.’”

The reigning, defending, three-time Adult Video News Male Performer of the Year award recipient has targeted one of the SCCA’s new Pro Racing training series to begin his march towards the Indy 500.

“The next step is to participate in the [USF4] Championship Series [in] 2017,” he said. “I am determined to be racing the IndyCar Series by 2020. I’m already on that path with my success at the Skip Barber Racing Academy. And I have a lifelong track record of achieving my goals.”

Blue has also competed in the American Endurance Racing series, where many R&T staffers have also donned their helmets and protective gear in the name of sporting excellence. Although the exact returns are somewhat vague, Blue would like potential sponsors to know his return on investment will be unique.

“Every driver has sponsors,” he said. “In appreciation for your sponsorship, you can have exclusive access to my world and every promotional benefit I have to offer.”

Mick Blue. IndyCar. 2020. This needs to happen.


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BAD PIT STRATEGY

If I was I probably would have made it to the nearest fuel station. But stopped short 😂

— Conor Daly (@ConorDaly22)

IndyCar driver Conor Daly should have known better. The A.J. Foyt Racing star reminded the world last week that no matter how good he is behind the wheel of a car that circles the Indy 500 at 230mph, stretching fuel to make it home from a test at the Gateway oval was just beyond his skillset.

“It happens,” Daly told RoadandTrack.com with a laugh. “To be fair, I always try to push the limits on fuel…the same like in a racecar. It’s something I’ve always done, I challenge myself to get down to the last drop before stopping for gas. I thought I got closer, I got closer…and I went too far.”

Almost a thousand people have liked Daly’s self-deprecating Tweet. Considering how his roommate, 2016 Indy 500 winner Alexander Rossi, famously won the “Greatest Spectacle in Racing” by saving unholy amounts of fuel to beat 32 other drivers who needed to stop for a final splash of ethanol, Daly still has a few lessons to learn.

“I thought it was funny because I like with Alex because I live with him and he did big things with fuel,” he added. “Obviously, I like to make people laugh, even if it’s at my expense, but I didn’t know the Tweet would get as much reaction as it did.”

If it’s happened to you, take pride in the fact that somewhere in the world, a professional racecar driver is sitting parked on the side of the highway dealing with the most pedestrian of problems.

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